Hong Kong Immigration insights on immigrant life in Hong Kong: June 21st is this year's Father's Day. In Hong Kong, tradition dictates that children should carefully prepare gifts for their fathers to express their love. However, recent studies have found that the role and status of fathers in the family are gradually declining. Compared to mothers, they are less involved in discipline or understanding their children's lives, have relatively distant relationships with their children, and are becoming increasingly "invisible" in their children's upbringing.
According to a report by Hong Kong's Wen Wei Po, Professor Daniel Shek Tan-lei of the Department of Applied Social Sciences at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University conducted a longitudinal questionnaire survey of 3,300 students from 28 secondary schools. The results showed that fathers scored lower than mothers for six consecutive years in three areas: behavioral control, psychological control, and the parent-child relationship. For example, in response to the question, "Do your parents take the initiative to understand your situation at school?", less than 50% agreed that their fathers could do so, while over 75% agreed that their mothers could, indicating that Hong Kong fathers have a low participation rate in disciplining their children. At the same time, more than half of the children stated that they would not share daily trivialities and feelings with their fathers, while 68.7% indicated they would proactively share with their mothers, showing that the relationship between fathers and children is relatively distant.
Li Jian Lizhen, a supervisor at the Caritas Fanling Integrated Family Service Centre in Hong Kong, stated that influenced by traditional Chinese family values, fathers are often stereotyped as the "stern disciplinarian" responsible for scolding children. Coupled with long working hours, most children do not take the initiative to confide in their fathers. Consequently, the father's role and status in the family are gradually declining, and they are even "drifting further away" from their children. Professor Shek pointed out that if this continues, it will not only lead to a lack of paternal love and a sense of "indifference" toward fathers among children, but will also increase the workload of mothers who are already juggling multiple roles, easily leading to marital conflict.
This situation does not stem from the fathers' own intentions. In fact, most Hong Kong fathers believe that "being able to communicate with children" and "having time to accompany family" are essential qualities of a good father. However, facing severe work and mental stress, it is difficult for them to find time to care for their families.
How can this situation be broken? Experts suggest that fathers should engage in more emotional communication with their children; even if they are in different places, they should call often and say, "I miss you." On weekends, they should take their children to country parks more often to accompany them in learning within a natural environment.
Life in Hong Kong is intense, fast-paced, with heavy workloads and long hours, and hundreds of thousands of people frequently travel abroad for business. But no matter how busy one is, one should slow down and spend some time with their children. Chinese people, especially men, are emotionally reserved, and it is often difficult to express love in words. On the annual Father's Day, one should make an exception and show some gesture. Two generations coming together is not only about family affection but also about destiny.
