Follow US Immigration and follow US Life to immigrate to the United States and integrate into the American social circle. Red envelopes are "universally understood," but the American way of "giving gifts" is more practical. In fact, many countries, including the United States, have their own unique gift-giving cultures, but they are not as direct and utilitarian as the Chinese custom of handing over cash.
The primary way Americans congratulate a newlywed couple is by purchasing items for them. Friends and family receive a long shopping list called a "Bridal Registry," which consists mostly of practical daily necessities. However, as values change, some Americans have begun to accept cash, and an increasing number of couples are issuing "cash registries."
Wedding celebrations in the Chinese community often exhibit features of both East and West, but the main form still retains Chinese traditions, especially the ritual of receiving red envelopes. Media reports have indicated that the highest-ever red envelope received at a Chinese wedding reached $10,000.
Bridal Registry
The United States also has a form of "gift-giving" for weddings, but it has its own American characteristics.
First, the "frequency is low." It is mainly reserved for when relatives and friends get married, have birthdays, have children, or have provided help and need to show appreciation;
Second, the "amount is small." Americans do not favor the Chinese-style "red envelope"; giving a bouquet of flowers or a coffee mug is sufficient. If one chooses to give money, it is common to go to a supermarket and purchase a gift card. Gift cards come in various categories and can be used for dining at restaurants, buying books at bookstores, or shopping at supermarkets. The amounts are typically $10, $15, $20, $25, or $50.
The primary way Americans congratulate a newlywed couple is by buying things for the newlyweds. Friends and family receive a long shopping list called a Bridal Registry. The registry lists the needed items in detail by category, generally including: Decor, such as vases, picture frames, and artwork; Glassware, such as coffee mugs, wine glasses, and tumblers; Kitchen, such as salad spinners, coffee makers, and oven mitts; Bedding, such as sheets, quilts, and blankets; Dinnerware, such as plates, stockpots, and sugar bowls; and Bathware, such as bathrobes, mats, and bathroom scales.
The groom-to-be and bride-to-be usually jointly issue the bridal registry. In 1924, Marshall Field's in the United States pioneered the bridal registry service.
Later, many department stores, such as Macy's and Target, began offering this service. Today, with the development of the internet, bridal registries have moved online, making them even more convenient and efficient.
Practical and Affordable Gifts
The items on the registry are not expensive—costing a few dollars to a few dozen dollars each—and will never affect the daily expenses of the friends and family giving the gifts. Americans are pragmatic; with a registry, all the gifts given are necessary items that do not overlap.
So, what is the total value of gifts received from a registry? TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com conducted a survey finding that in 2011, 1.5 million couples issued registries containing approximately 153 items each, with an average total value of $5,158.
As times change, gift choices have also evolved. The most popular wedding gifts can be found at the four major US retailers: Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, Macy's, and the upscale furniture store Crate and Barrel, with the most common gifts being dinnerware and small household appliances.
Quality kitchen dinnerware from Macy's has become the wedding gift most newlyweds hope to receive. A wedding gift industry executive stated that part of the reason is the groom's influence, which has boosted sales of home bar supplies, such as ice buckets and cocktail shakers.
A Target executive mentioned that a current trend is for grooms to challenge the gift list, so electronics and camping gear are increasingly common as wedding gifts. In recent years, family-sized barbecue grills, bathroom accessories, and sports equipment have appeared frequently. Many newlyweds also request that friends and family give household items because these gifts are more practical.
Starting to Accept Cash
In the past, wedding gift lists were often a "one-size-fits-all" requirement, and many young brides would choose expensive and impractical items, which might only be used once a year, such as fine china, linens, and glassware. Compared to the past, most couples living in cities today inhabit smaller spaces and lack the room to store various gadgets or items. Grills and roasting pans from Macy's are the most popular wedding gifts.
Older generations of Americans considered accepting cash to be quite rude, but today, concepts have changed, and some couples have begun accepting cash, with an increasing number of couples issuing "cash registries."
The Wall Street Journal once reported that the option for cash gifts has increased significantly, helping newlyweds pay for down payments or home renovations. The president of MyRegistry.com revealed that in 2013, 19,500 users on the site created cash gift funds, which typically result in thousands of dollars, with some raising as much as $30,000.
Chinese Weddings Continue Traditions
Chinese weddings often feature a blend of Eastern and Western integration, assimilation, and divergence. There is a specific custom in the United States: the couple creates a gift list months before the wedding, and guests and friends can choose items from this list that fit their budget to give to the couple.
Karen and Chen, both ABCs (American-born Chinese), accommodated this trend. Their friends learned of their needs through word-of-mouth and the internet, and sent a wide variety of gifts.
Karen also input their wedding progress and information into a website dedicated to wedding support, so that friends everywhere could understand their situation. Chen's parents, who live in Hawaii, even brought unique Hawaiian-style floral leis.
However, some couples who hold entirely traditional Chinese-style weddings also receive Chinese-style gifts—red envelopes and jewelry. Every friend attending the wedding gives cash ranging from $200 to $500, expressing their sentiments through traditional red envelopes. Some relatives and close friends bring gold necklaces, gold bracelets, gold dragon and phoenix ornaments, and jade pendants, among other valuable jewelry. Traditionally, friends and fellow townsfolk invited by the couple and both sets of parents will attend the wedding.