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First arrival in the U.S.: From anxiety and depression to regaining confidence step by step
Upon graduating from junior high school in China, I came to the United States to begin my life as a young international student. I had attended very good local schools in China, and my grades were above average. When I first arrived in the U.S., I studied at a boarding high school. It was a school located on a mountain; the environment was beautiful but somewhat remote, and there were many Chinese students, about 15%. It took 20 minutes to drive from the school to the nearest store, giving one a sense of being isolated from the world. It was completely different from the American high school I had imagined. The school had strict management, and the cafeteria often served Mexican tortillas. At first, I thought it was okay, but after a few days, I began to miss Chinese food. Due to language barriers and a different curriculum system, I could only struggle with my studies in disappointment. Although I have an extroverted personality, as a "foreigner" who had just arrived, I still could not integrate well into the school's learning and life, which gave me a sense of loss and confusion I had never experienced before. Under such circumstances, I naturally preferred to stay with my compatriots, thereby losing the opportunity to communicate and interact with teachers and American classmates.
At the end of the first semester, I got six Bs, which hurt my self-esteem. I was once very anxious and depressed, until one day during an exam, I discovered that an American classmate next to me was actually peeking at my test paper, and my state of mind changed. In fact, I didn't mind him peeking at my paper; I was just surprised that this American classmate, who was good at sports, a popular figure in clubs, and had even mocked me before, actually needed to look at my paper! Suddenly, I regained my confidence.
Personal observation: In the eyes of American classmates, Chinese students are spoiled children
Life at the boarding high school was very regular, but I didn't like this unchanging pattern of life, so in 10th grade, I transferred to a day school located in the city. The relatively relaxed learning environment of the day school gave me more time to manage freely, and I had the opportunity to develop my own interests and hobbies and actively participate in the clubs I liked. This high school had more Chinese students, as many as 40% to 50%. Chinese students often have relatively closed circles; they are not very keen on interacting with American classmates, nor do they like to participate in those club activities. I once asked my American classmates what they thought of Chinese students. Most of them felt that we were all "spoiled kids"—that is, children who are spoiled, unwilling to communicate with local American students, and do not try to understand American social culture. Although there are Chinese students with excellent grades, it still makes people feel that they only live in their own world, doing nothing but studying.
The biggest event in American high schools every year is the Prom, which is the graduation dance. Usually, male and female students graduating from high school will definitely interact at this dance. It can be said that the Prom is a meaningful event that serves as the final brilliant presentation of the entire four years of high school life. This was originally a good opportunity for Chinese students to enter the mainstream circle. But in fact, if it is a school with a high percentage of local American students, tickets for this kind of dance are very easy to sell, but in our school, because there are many Chinese students, the tickets are hard to sell out, and the dance ends in a dismal way.
Self-change: Studying American history and participating in debate competitions, accumulating experience and confidence from every setback
Although the new school I transferred to still had a cluster of Chinese students, by this time I had a clearer vision and direction for my future development, so I began to understand the importance of integrating into American society and culture and took many actions for it.
In terms of coursework, a teacher suggested that I take AP courses—that is, Advanced Placement courses. Since Chinese students have advantages in science subjects such as mathematics, physics, and chemistry, these subjects are very popular among Chinese students when choosing courses. In order to better integrate into American society, I consciously chose American history and politics, subjects that American students like to choose. Although this was a challenge for me, through hard work, I had more opportunities to come into contact with American students and American culture.
In terms of extracurricular activities, the teacher suggested that I participate in debate competitions. At first, I was a bit timid. Based on my own assessment, it was difficult for me to participate in Chinese debate competitions, let alone in English. However, I still chose to accept this challenge. To prepare for the debate, I had to read nearly 2,000 pages of humanities, social sciences, and historical materials every month, and the debate topics ranged from "nuclear weapons issues" to boring subjects like "whether the NSA should monitor the public." Of course, there were many awkward moments. The one that left the deepest impression on me was: near the end of a debate competition, the judge stopped me directly and said to me, "Please speak slower, I didn't understand what you were saying at all." The embarrassment and frustration I felt at that time can be imagined. However, after such incidents happened more often, I adjusted my mindset, and every setback instead gave me more experience and accumulation, making me more and more calm and composed.
In addition to debate competitions, because I like politics, the teacher also recommended that I intern at the office of California Assemblymember Judy Chu. Every day after class, I rushed to the assemblymember's office. I only handled trivial matters like answering the phone, but it was precisely because of these trivial matters that I understood the operation system of the state government to a certain extent. It was also because I did these trivial things in a down-to-earth manner that my supervisor took the initiative to extend my internship from 3 months to one year.
Active action: Integrating into the mainstream circle of American schools and making American classmates change their prejudices
After accumulating some political common sense and more confidence, I also began to want to use my strengths to do something to influence the social group I was in. I found that with the rapid growth of the Asian American population in the United States, the voter turnout of the Asian American group is actually declining because they do not realize that the right to vote is closely related to fighting for their own social rights and interests. So I teamed up with friends to produce a video calling on Asian Americans to actively exercise their right to vote. After this video was completed, I uploaded it to the Internet, which received 130,000 clicks and also attracted the attention of media including NBC. What I did might have been just a small thing, but I am proud that I was able to make efforts to change this world.
I am very glad that I chose a day school at the beginning, which gave me more time and space for free development, and I dedicated my time and energy to my studies and these extracurricular activities. In terms of my time allocation, perhaps the time spent participating in clubs and social activities even exceeded the time spent studying. Although I was very busy every day, I felt very grounded. Because most of the people I came into contact with inside and outside the classroom were American classmates, my interactions, exchanges, and communication with them became smoother and more sincere, and I was still the real me. Once American classmates began to understand me, they were also very friendly to me, changed their previous prejudices, and respected me more and more. At the same time, they were also full of curiosity about Chinese culture and liked to interact with us. Therefore, as long as there is a willingness and consciousness to understand, respect, and participate in the local American society and culture, we can eventually integrate into the local area and do it with ease.
