Every country has its own table etiquette. For UK immigrants, it is essential to understand British table manners when living in the UK; otherwise, others may perceive you as disrespectful.
In the world of Western cuisine, British food may be difficult to compare with French or Italian gastronomy, and the British are famously fond of "fast food," which makes it even harder for Chinese people, who cherish food and have a long-standing culinary culture, to identify with it. However, the British emphasis on the selection of ingredients and table etiquette is rarely matched by any other Western country.
The British are world-renowned for their emphasis on etiquette. In daily life, "thank you" and "sorry" are always on their lips. If they feel they have caused even the slightest trouble to others, even if the other person stepped on their foot, they will hurriedly say "Sorry!" It sounds like a joke, but it is a true reflection of the British people. In a restaurant, a British person will say "Thank you!" when receiving the menu, "Thank you!" when ordering, "Thank you!" when the food is served, "Thank you!" when receiving the bill, and even "Thank you!" when they pay you. For such "thoughtfulness," even the Chinese, who come from a land of etiquette, may find it hard to adapt.
The British place great importance on cultivating table etiquette in children from a young age. From the first day a child sits at the dining table, parents begin to provide formal or informal "table etiquette education," hoping to help the child develop good dining habits while learning proper dining manners. Therefore, in British restaurants, you will not hear anyone shouting for a "waiter" or "miss," nor will you hear any table of people talking loudly. On the contrary, even if they have decided what to eat the day before, they will patiently read the menu and then sit quietly waiting for the waiter to come and take their order; even if they are sitting in a corner easily forgotten, they will try to communicate with the waiter through eye contact or a wave, avoiding making any noise as much as possible. During the meal, everyone eats quietly at their own seat, speaks softly, and even uses a smile instead of a laugh, fearing to disturb those around them. Of course, traditional Western dining etiquette, such as not making noise while drinking soup, chewing with your mouth closed, and only speaking after swallowing your food, are also important components of British table etiquette.
Several major parts of British table etiquette
1. Reservations:
In the West, it is generally necessary to make a reservation before going to a restaurant. When making a reservation, there are a few points to be clear about: first, state the number of people and the time; second, indicate whether you need a smoking area or a seat with a good view. If it is a birthday or other special occasion, you can inform them of the purpose and budget of the banquet. Arriving at the scheduled time is basic courtesy. If you have an emergency, you must notify them in advance to cancel, and you must apologize.
No matter how expensive your casual wear is, you cannot wear it to a high-end Western restaurant; dressing appropriately is common sense for Europeans and Americans. When going to a high-end Western restaurant, men should be neat; women should wear evening gowns or suits and heeled shoes. Women's makeup should be slightly heavier because the lighting in the restaurant is dim. If formal attire is specified, men must wear a tie. When entering the restaurant, men should open the door first and invite the woman to enter, letting her walk in front. When being seated and ordering wine, you should invite the woman to taste and decide.
Generally, Western restaurants are open from 11:30 AM to the afternoon, and dinner starts after 6:30 PM. If guests arrive early, they can have a drink at the bar before entering the main dining room.
2. Seating
After being seated, there is no need to rush to order. If you have any questions, you can ask the waiter directly; they are generally very happy to answer any questions you may have. If they are not sure, they will ask the restaurant manager or the chef.
Arriving at a Western restaurant too early (at 11:00 AM or 5:30 PM), eating in a hurry and leaving, talking about business at the table, dressing sloppily, eating the main course too slowly and affecting the next course, or only ordering appetizers without ordering main courses and desserts are all impolite behaviors.
Although the portions of appetizers in high-end Western restaurants are small, they are very exquisite and worth savoring slowly. After the meal, you can choose dessert, cheese, coffee, tea, etc. Different countries have different tipping customs. However, you must offer plenty of praise and express your gratitude.
Eating Western food is largely about the atmosphere: marble fireplaces, sparkling crystal chandeliers, silver candlesticks, colorful wines, and people's elegant and charming manners—this in itself is a moving oil painting. To make your behavior more skillful when you first try Western food, it is well worth the effort to familiarize yourself with these dining etiquettes.
Do not fiddle with the tableware already set on the table before the meal. Fold the napkin in half and place it gently on your lap. The napkin can be used to wipe your mouth or hands. It should be folded into a triangle along the diagonal or into a rectangle in parallel. Stains should be wiped inside so that the exterior always looks neat. When leaving your seat, even temporarily, you should take off the napkin and fold it loosely into a square or triangle and place it on the side of the plate or the foot of the table; it is best to place it on your own seat.
When seated, sit up straight, do not put your elbows on the table, and do not cross your legs. The distance between you and the table should be convenient for using the tableware.
3. Using knives, forks, and spoons
Placement rules: When using knives and forks to eat, take them from the outside in. Generally (left-handed people can hold them the other way, but they should be returned to their original positions after the meal), hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right; when using a knife, the blade should not face outward. When putting down the knife and fork during the meal, they should be placed in an "eight" shape on the edge of the plate, with the blade facing yourself, indicating that you are still eating. After finishing a course, place the knife and fork together on the plate, indicating that the waiter can clear the tableware. If you are talking, you can hold the knife and fork without putting them down. When not using the knife, you can hold the fork in your right hand, but if you need to make gestures, you should put down the knife and fork. Never wave them in the air, do not hold a knife or fork in one hand and a napkin in the other to wipe your mouth, and do not hold a wine glass in one hand and a fork in the other to pick up food. Please remember that at no time should one end of the knife or fork be on the plate and the other on the table.
The knives, forks, and spoons used in Western food each have their own uses and cannot be replaced or mixed.
The knife is used for cutting food; do not use the knife to pick up food and put it into your mouth. Remember: hold the knife in your right hand. If three different sizes of knives appear during the meal, the general correct usage is: the one with small serrations is used for cutting meat products; the medium-sized one is used for cutting large pieces of vegetables into small pieces; and the small, delicate one with a round, slightly upturned tip is used for cutting small bread, and then using it to pick up some jam or butter to spread on the bread.
The fork should be held in the left hand. When picking up food and putting it into your mouth, the movement should be light. Pick up an appropriate amount of food and put it into your mouth at once. When the fork picks up food and enters the mouth, the teeth should only touch the food; do not bite the fork, and do not let the knife and fork make noise on your teeth or the plate.
Spoons: In formal occasions, there are many types of spoons. Small ones are used for coffee and desserts; flat ones are used for spreading butter and serving cake; larger ones are used for drinking soup or holding small pieces of food; the largest ones are for public use to serve soup, commonly seen in buffets.
4. Elegant dining
When eating bread, generally break it into small pieces and put it into your mouth; do not hold the whole piece of bread and bite it. When spreading butter and jam, also break the bread into small pieces first. When eating, chew with your mouth closed, do not lick your lips or smack your lips to make noise, and do not make a slurping sound when drinking soup. If the soup is too hot, you can wait for it to cool down before eating; do not blow on it with your mouth. When drinking soup, use a soup spoon to scoop from the inside out. When the soup in the soup plate is almost finished, use your left hand to slightly lift the outer edge of the soup plate and scoop it clean with the soup spoon. When finished with the soup, leave the spoon in the soup plate (bowl) with the handle pointing toward you. When eating fish, meat, or other dishes with thorns or bones, do not spit them out directly; you can cover your mouth with a napkin and gently spit them onto the fork and put them into the plate. When eating noodles, use a fork to roll the noodles up first, then put them into your mouth.
5. Desserts and drinks
When drinking coffee, if you need to add milk or sugar, use a small spoon to stir it evenly, then place the small spoon on the coffee saucer. When drinking, hold the cup handle with your right hand and the saucer with your left hand. Do not scoop it with a spoon. When eating fruit, do not hold the fruit and bite it; you should first cut it into four pieces with a fruit knife, then use the knife to remove the skin and core, and use a fork to eat it.
5. Pairing wine with food
What food to pair with wine often puzzles people. For hundreds of years, choosing the right food when drinking seems to have formed rules. However, with the continuous emergence of new foods and new types of wine in modern society, these rules seem outdated and increasingly inapplicable.
How to pair wine with food: First, you should understand that life is based on personal preferences, and there is no doubt that wine and food pairing should also be matched according to personal taste. You can order wine and food according to your own taste. Even if it is not allowed by the rules, or if your dining companions strongly object, you don't need to be shy or embarrassed. There are many things in life that seem unsuitable to be paired together but still appear harmonious. However, what should you do when you can't decide what wine to have for dinner? Should you resort to those pairing rules? Over the years, I have accumulated some experience that can solve the problems you encounter. These so-called "principles" are not to tell you what to eat when drinking, but to explain how food and wine affect and interact with each other. When pairing food with wine, it is important to base it on taste. Food and wine can be divided into four tastes, which define the scope of wine and food pairing: sour, sweet, bitter, and salty.
Sour: You may have heard that wine should not be paired with salad because the acid in the salad greatly destroys the mellow aroma of the wine. However, if salad and acidic wine are used together, the acid contained in the wine will be decomposed by the lactic acid in the salad, which is of course an excellent pairing. Therefore, you can choose to eat acidic wine and acidic food together. Acidic wine and salty food also taste very good together.
Sweet: When dining, you can also choose desserts according to your personal taste. Generally speaking, sweet food will make sweet wine taste lighter. If you choose California Chardonnay and eat it with a small piece of grilled swordfish, the wine will taste very sweet. However, if you put salad on the fish, the fruitiness of the wine will be greatly reduced. Therefore, when eating desserts, desserts with too much sugar will cover the taste of the wine, losing its original flavor. You should choose a wine that is slightly sweeter than the dessert so that the wine can maintain its original taste.
Bitter: Still use the "personal preference" principle. Bitter wine and bitter food eaten together will reduce the bitterness. So if you want to reduce or remove the bitterness, you can pair bitter wine with bitter food.
Salty: Generally, there is no salty wine, but many wines can reduce the saltiness of salty food. Many countries and regions in the world use lemon juice or wine when eating seafood such as fish. The main reason is that acid can reduce the saltiness of fish, making it taste more delicious when eaten.
6. Toasting
As a guest of honor attending a banquet held by foreigners, you should understand the other party's toasting habits, such as who to toast to, when to toast, etc., so as to make necessary preparations. When clinking glasses, the host and the guest of honor clink first. If there are many people, you can raise your glasses to signal at the same time; you don't necessarily have to clink glasses. When toasting, be careful not to cross glasses. When the host and the guest of honor are giving speeches or toasting, you should pause eating, stop talking, listen carefully, and do not take this opportunity to smoke. Stand solemnly when the national anthem is played. After the host and the guest of honor finish speaking and clink glasses with the people at the VIP table, they often go to other tables to toast. In this case, you should stand up and raise your glass. When clinking glasses, look at the other person to show respect.
Toasting each other at a banquet shows friendliness and enlivens the atmosphere, but avoid excessive drinking. Excessive drinking can easily lead to slips of the tongue or even loss of composure, so it must be controlled within one-third of your own alcohol tolerance.
7. Encountering unexpected situations
During the banquet, due to carelessness, if an abnormal situation occurs, such as using too much force, causing the knife and fork to hit the plate and make a sound, or dropping tableware on the floor, or spilling wine, you should remain calm and not worry. If the tableware makes a sound, you can gently say "Sorry" to your neighbor (or the host). If the tableware falls, the waiter can send a new set. If wine is spilled on a neighbor, you should apologize and help wipe it dry; if the other person is a woman, just hand over a clean napkin or handkerchief and let her wipe it dry herself.
