It is inevitable to feel nervous and excited when you first arrive in the U.S., and you may be eager to integrate into American society as quickly as possible. However, do not forget that you come from another country with significant differences in national conditions and culture; if you encounter any difficulties, there is no need to feel particularly discouraged. Asking questions can help you overcome cultural barriers. Observe more, listen more, speak up, keep an open mind, and approach initial challenges with an independent, proactive attitude. Since you had the courage to cross the ocean, you should have the determination to accept the challenges. Today, we will briefly introduce some customs and etiquette to note when interacting with Americans, hoping it will help you adapt to local life quickly after immigrating to the U.S.
1. Etiquette
Americans are generally extroverted, enthusiastic, straightforward, and informal, with many unique customs and etiquette. The U.S. is a country with a strong sense of time; various activities start at the scheduled time, and being late is considered impolite. Making appointments with Americans is simple; a phone call is usually enough, and the other party will happily agree to meet as soon as possible. Americans also have a tradition of reciprocity, but they avoid accepting overly expensive gifts. Firstly, Americans do not place much importance on the monetary value of a gift, and secondly, the law prohibits giving overly expensive gifts. Handicrafts, artworks, and fine wines brought from your hometown are gifts that Americans appreciate. Except for holidays, you generally do not need to bring gifts when invited to an American's home for a visit or a meal. American society has a tipping culture; all service-related items require a tip. Hotel doormen, housekeeping, etc., should be tipped no less than $1, and at restaurants, a 15% tip is added when settling the bill.
When Americans host meals for business purposes, they are mostly arranged in restaurants or clubs, with expenses covered by the company. Only close friends and relatives are invited to dinner at home. American food is diverse and varies in taste due to regional and ethnic differences. Hamburgers, "hot dogs," pies, donuts, and KFC fried chicken are world-famous foods, but home-cooked meals for guests are economical, practical, unpretentious, and informal. A typical home dinner consists of a long table set with a large salad, a large platter of roast chicken or meat, various cold dishes, a plate of fried rice, a plate of bread, as well as desserts, fruits, cold drinks, and alcohol. The host and guests sit around the table. Once the host says "please," everyone picks up a plate and helps themselves to the food they like. You can add more as you finish, eating and chatting in a relaxed manner.
Americans view inviting guests for a meal, a drink, or a weekend at a country villa as a way of socializing, and they do not necessarily expect anything in return; if there is an opportunity, you can simply invite them to your home for a meal. After the meal, guests should express special gratitude to the host, especially the hostess.
2. Introductions
One aspect of American social customs that differs significantly from other countries is the use of names. Americans do not place much importance on "status," especially social status. Most Americans do not want to be treated with special respect due to their age or social status, as this makes them feel uncomfortable. Many Americans even feel that titles like "Mr.," "Mrs.," and "Miss" are too formal. Regardless of age, everyone likes to be called by their first name. "Don't call me Mrs. Smith, just call me Sally." Using first names is often a sign of friendliness and closeness. However, if you feel uncomfortable using first names, you can use more formal titles. You can smile and say that you are used to being more formal when first meeting someone and will switch to first names after a while.
When introducing, people often use both first and last names: "Mary Smith, this is John Jones." In such cases, you can decide whether to call that lady "Mary" or "Ms. Smith." Sometimes, when two people are talking, they may start by using last names, but before long, one or both will switch to first names. You can choose for yourself; if you are not willing to use first names immediately and prefer to follow your own customs, no one will think you are being impolite.
You may notice that when Americans chat in groups, they almost never mention each other's titles. If you are used to conversations filled with titles, you might feel that Americans are blunt or impersonal. If you wish, you are free to address others by their titles according to your country's customs. Americans will just find it interesting and unique when they hear you speak this way. However, do not be offended if they do not use titles when speaking.
3. Titles
Social class differences are not emphasized in the U.S., so Americans do not have hereditary titles, although they will address foreign guests by their titles if they are accustomed to them. Instead, Americans sometimes use professional titles. These titles are different from family titles because they are "earned" rather than inherited from ancestors. The most common professional titles are for judges, high-ranking government officials, military officers, doctors, professors, and religious leaders. Here are a few examples: Judge Harry, Senator Smith, General Clark, Dr. Brown, Dr. Green (Professor), Father White, Rabbi Cohen (a respectful term for Jewish people), Bishop Gray, etc.
As for people in other professions, they are addressed as "Mr.," "Miss," or "Mrs." "Ms." is applicable to both married and unmarried women and has become very common in the U.S. in recent years. If you meet an American for the first time and do not know their title, but want to show respect, you can use "Mr." or "Mrs." The person you address this way might realize you are unsure of the correct title and will tell you what it is. However, unless someone is in a specific profession, formal titles are not commonly used. Americans value friendly, informal relationships rather than status titles. Americans believe that they can show respect even when calling someone by their first name.
4. Services
Beyond titles, there are other things in American life that tourists accustomed to being served by maids, drivers, and cooks might find very different from their home countries. Some tourists might think of themselves as people of status, but in the U.S., they are treated like everyone else, which may make them feel neglected. However, the U.S. is a "do-it-yourself" country. Most Americans, whether they are doctors, professors, business people, or lawyers, cook their own meals, do their own laundry, go to the market, or perform other chores. In the U.S., services cost money; anyone can "buy" services as long as they can afford it; status is irrelevant. No matter what profession a person is in, doing housework themselves is never considered wrong. In fact, many Americans can afford to hire cooks or drivers, but they choose not to. They prefer to enjoy the peace and quiet of their homes, which might be lost if there were hired help. Others prefer to spend their money on travel or other things rather than paying high American wages to hire someone to manage household chores.
5. Finding Restrooms
A tourist who had just arrived in the U.S. was recently asked what the most troublesome thing was on his first day, and he answered without hesitation: "Finding a restroom."
In some countries, there are clearly visible public restrooms on the streets or in small buildings, but not in the U.S. In the U.S., public restrooms are located at gas stations (they are all clean and free, though you may need to ask the attendant for a key). Airports, bus stations, train stations, restaurants, libraries, large stores, theaters, and all places that welcome the public have restrooms. You can even walk into any hotel to use the "women's restroom" or "men's restroom," even if you are not a guest at that hotel.
Do not be confused by the names on the restroom doors. Sometimes they say "Men" or "Women," or "Ladies" or "Gentlemen," or simply "Restroom." Some may have graphics or other symbols on the door to distinguish between men and women, a method especially used in restaurants. Women's restrooms are sometimes called "powder rooms." The terms "convenience" or "W.C." used by Europeans are rarely used in the U.S., but most people understand what they mean.
6. Knowledge of Your Country
You may encounter some Americans who know very little about your country. If this happens, please be patient with them. Unfortunately, American schools rarely teach the culture and customs of other countries. The U.S. is bordered by oceans on the east and west, far away from other countries. As a result, Americans are not very familiar with the cultures and different working styles of other countries; this is also common in other countries. If Americans try to help you in ways you are not familiar with, or if they mistake your country for another one thousands of miles away, please be understanding. Compared to other countries, the U.S. has developed into a modern nation in a very short time, only about 300 years. Americans have been busy with their own growth, building highways, establishing cities, creating free education systems for millions of children, inventing, discovering, and developing for the benefit of the world. During most of these 300 years, the nation's attention was focused on the U.S. itself, not the world. It was not until World War II (1939-1945) that Americans began to take an interest in other parts of the world.
7. Social Customs
The ancestors of Americans came from all over the world, so there are far more "accepted" social customs in the U.S. than in some other countries. Therefore, tourists visiting the U.S. do not need to feel embarrassed or think it is wrong to follow the customs and habits of their own countries. Although Americans are informal, if you prefer to dress formally in social situations, feel free to do so. The people around you will certainly accept it.
